The General Ree

or.... Tales of The Red Car

My Aunt Connie was kind enough to give Tyler a car a while back.  When we took possession of the car, it was really kind of cute.  A 1989 Nissan Sentra, red, with alloy wheels.  Connie took very good care of the car and it was quite a gift for a kid with no money.

Well, then the car was Tylerized.

Almost immediately, the car got a number 95 sticker on the left rear window and a Fox racing sticker on the right rear window.  I'm not sure of the significance of the number 95 sticker and I don't really care.  It did add a little flair to the car and it wasn't garish.  In the next few months, he just couldn't leave it alone.  The poor little thing got backed into, crunched, punched and modified.  It got a new JVC stereo and some Pioneer speakers.  It got a CB installed and the complimentary 20 foot CB antenna as well.  Needless to say, she's really turning into a redneck rig.

Here's the worst part...  My truck threw a rod and needed to have the motor rebuilt sooooooo, I'm driving the red car.  I've commented on the car to a few people so Mom told me to add my remarks here so she could share them.

Here they are.... Have a ball...


Email sent to co-workers on 12/20/10

As some of you may or may not know, my truck is in the shop getting a new motor.  I am a truck girl.  Always have been.  While my truck’s been in the shop, I’ve been driving my Dad’s “cow feeding truck” which is a falling apart P.O.S. half ton Dodge 4x4.  I gotta say, it’s filthy and it stinks but it’s still a truck.  With the nasty weather, they’ve decided to feed the cows on a daily basis so they took that truck away from me now, too.  Sooooooo, now I’m driving my son’s beat to hell, 1989 fire engine red Nissan Sentra that includes luxurious amenities as a 20 foot CB antenna, alloy wheels, JVC/Pioneer sound, a hot number “95” sticker on one side and a happenin’ “Fox” sticker on the other side, and a CB to go with that 20 foot whip wired right directly to the battery….you know….just in case.

Those of you that haven’t had the pleasure to meet me yet will, at some point, find out that I’m a big girl in size and stature, Amazonian…if you will..  When placed in the rain for any length of time, my hair gets big almost to “trailer park” big.  That happened this morning because I fed the horses and mules in the rain prior to heading off to work in my awesome ride.  I might add that I left my wallet at home.  Well….me, in that car, screams “STOP ME!  I’M PROBABLY DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL!!”  So a very nice Yuba County Sheriff’s deputy did.  Did I mention we just got the car smogged on Friday and it doesn’t have stickers yet?  Did I mention the windshield is smashed all to hell and you have to look between the cracks to drive?  Well, now I also know it has a tail light out.  The nice officer told me so.  I have paperwork that indicates I should get that fixed.  J

Anyone want to buy a car? 

 


12/20/10

After reading my email, Mike (a guy on my team), sends me a copy of Waylon Jenning's "Good Ole Boys" to "rock from that hi perfomance stereo in that sled".  It's also mentioned that since it's a Japanese version of General Lee, it shall henceforth be dubbed "The General Ree".  I love it!!


12/20/10

Met June and her two boys Cody (9) and Caleb (6) at the gas station so June could give me my Christmas present.  The car wouldn't start.  Once it did and I lurched out of the parking lot in front of June, I got a text from her saying "Caleb is laughing his ass off at the antenna".  I had learned in an earlier incident that, if you close the trunk hard and fast enough, the CB antenna will beat you like a sale yard cow.


Email sent to co-workers on 1/10/11

I’m lucky to be alive.

The car really has been doing a good job getting me to work every day.  Considering the alternative, say riding my bike (or worse, a mule) to work, I’m counting my blessings.  This morning was cold though.  Much colder than normal.  I typically have to wear my heavy coat and gloves because the car has no defroster or heater.  This isn’t normally a big deal.  I’ve ridden in jeeps with the top off in pretty cold weather and find it quite refreshing.  On mornings when it’s frosty, I run a hose over the car until the ice is gone, run the wipers (those work) and head off to work.  Well…it’s been rainy as of late and the left rear window doesn’t latch all the way so the carpet on the floor in the backseat is wet.  This causes some condensation on the inside of the car.  I keep a hand towel in there and wipe the windshield down a few times on the way to work so I can see.  This morning when I hosed the ice off the car, for some reason, I still couldn’t see inside the car.  That’s when I realized…..the entire inside of the car had ice on the windows.  I laughed out loud.  I got inside and attempted to rub it off with my trusty towel.  Riiiiiiiight.  I now know that my Sutter ID can be used as a handy ice scraper as well as identification for “competent” technical employees.  I scraped a hole big enough to see through and headed off to work.  I had to roll the windows down about six inches so I could see on either side of the car at intersections.  I didn’t make it 5 miles before the cold air coming in from outside turned the condensation from my breath into ice right in the hole I’d scraped clean.  In a stroke of pure brilliance, I stuck my hand out the window clutching my full cup of steaming coffee and poured a bit on the windshield in an effort to clear the view again.  A small stream off coffee hit the windshield and made a coffee colored layer of ice over the clear ice right in my observation window.  The rest of the coffee remained steaming hot and shot down the sleeve of my insulated jacket.  I yanked the steering wheel to the right making what I’m sure was pretty close to a ninety degree turn onto the shoulder.  When a car is not in motion, hot coffee can be used to de ice the windshield.  Do NOT attempt to de ice the windshield with coffee unless the vehicle is standing still.  By the way, if anyone here at 969 likes iced coffee, I’m selling it for $4 a glass.

I made it to work but I will not be going anywhere until it warms up a bit outside.  Don’t even ask.

1/10/11

Ran out to the lake to pick up a couple orphaned lambs to take to June's house.  When I started to carry the lambs back to the car, the nice lady that gave them to me said, "Would you like me to get you a box or something so they don't mess up your car?".  I said, "HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THE CAR?!".

Caleb laughed at me again when I pulled into June's yard.  This time, while pointing at the 20 foot CB antenna he yelled, "I'll bet you get WI-FI with that thing!!"  I told the Eberhardt's to take pity on me!  I'd almost got high centered in a pot hole pulling into their drive.  Monte told me I could just fire up the CB if I got in too much trouble.

Breaker channel nine!  This is the General Ree.....come back!!

1/12/10

Since we built the new house, my sister has been keeping my deer mounts for me until I was ready to hang them.  She brought one to the office yesterday so I could take it home.  I drove home with a nice whitetail riding shotgun.  I got the looks...er....ok, they were stares and laughs but it was attention all the same.

 

 

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