What I Learned At 2 A.M.
November 28, 2005
1. Horses don't appreciate being fed 8 hours late...in the rain.
2. Wet opossums are mad opossums.
3. Wet, mad opossums don't like being disturbed at 2 am in THEIR hay barn.
4. Hay barns are OWNED by opossums some time after 6 pm.
5. When roused from slumber, wet, mad opossums will attack.
6. Mud is slick.
7. When one is being chased by a wet, mad opossum through the mud, the likelihood of a slip is pretty good.
8. Wet, terrified Toy Fox Terriers are not a good defense against wet, mad opossums.
9. Wet, terrified Toy Fox Terriers can run twice as fast as slipping, falling Amazons and/or wet, mad opossums.
10. Slipping, falling Amazons shouldn't throw flashlights at quickly approaching wet, mad opossums.
11. Mud is hard to get out of flashlights.
12. Hungry, wet weanling foals ARE a good defense against wet, mad opossums.
13. Wet, mad opossums should never venture into the domain of hungry, wet weanling foals.
14. Mad, wet opossums turn into freakishly, frightened, wet opossums when entering the domain of hungry, wet weanling foals.
15. Freakishly, frightened, wet opossums have no need to remain in the presence of slipping, falling Amazons, wet, terrified Toy Fox Terriers or hungry, wet, weanling foals.
Moral: Get a “watch-horse”, not a “watch-dog”.